Detection Devices

Many 0f us have handy dandy devices around our households to help us out.

There's the "the-building-is-on-fire-get-everyone-out-NOW" device (AKA "dinner-is-ready" device).

There's the "this-thing-is-hot-and-will-burn-your-hand-off" device.
There's the "it's-way-too-hot-in-here-and-you-NEED-to-commit-to-some-AC-for-the-summer" device.

There's the "why-on-earth-is-the-baby-waking-up-before-his-next-three-hour-feeding" device, which doubles as a "it-can-NOT-possibly-be-time-to-get-out-of-bed-already" device.

And there's the "the-air-is-filled-with-invisible-poison-gas-hold-your-breath-and-get-outside" device.

We recently discovered a new detection device known as a "Mommy Detector."

Although the name is quite short and simple, this device can alert all in the household to the lack of the mother's presence. The device range can cover one floor of a home at a time, but often will sound if there is any slight tremble in the force (or mom is more than 1 millimeter away). The best time to use this device is when Mom has obligations which require a lack of sudden alerts. If taken to church, this device can be completely content with Daddy and the minute he is out of the room Mom is occupying, he will alert all to their awful state (especially those left behind to endure a lesson from Mom).

Our model is specially designed with a built-in "Shower Detector" to ensure that all in the household and halfway down the street are aware that Mom is in the shower no matter how well-fed, asleep or content he is before the shower begins. This device will alert all red-headed two-year-olds of their current state of captivity and assist said two-year-old in coming to the realization that such a state is unacceptable and therefore must be yelled about (especially since Mom is in the shower trying to wash away some stress). The shower detector also awakens any other children in the house to ensure that they will begin pounding on the bathroom door, running into the bathroom in a panic, and/or attempting to silence the detector themselves by unknown means, thus negating the stress-relief effects of any current showering.

Today I discovered a way to keep the device from alerting all in the household (and half of the subdivision) to Mom's showering. I got out of the shower and there was NO screaming!! I checked to see if my device was out of batteries and he was sitting with the newly-discovered device, alerting none of the lack of Mommy. This is known as the "Helpful Sister Device."

Praise the Lord for the "Helpful Sister!!"